Resources Published October11, 2019 By Ernest Hamilton

How to Help a Drug Addict or Alcoholic Boyfriend

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How to Help a Drug Addict or Alcoholic Boyfriend
(Photo : Image by Ginger Palmisano )

Drug addiction can have devastating effects on an addict and their loved ones. It can ruin a relationship, cause manipulations, and guilt. Naturally, you want to help a loved one or boyfriend that is struggling with alcoholism or drug addiction. Unfortunately, you may not know how to do it or even where to start. You might not even be sure that your boyfriend or loved one has an addiction. As such, the first step is to know whether your loved one is an addict.

Signs of Alcoholism or Drug Addiction

To know whether your boyfriend or loved one is struggling with alcoholism or drug addiction, check out for the following signs.

- Loss of control over the use of a drug.
- Preoccupation with the desire to use the drug or alcohol.
- Secretive behaviors, particularly those surrounding alcohol or drug use.
- Neglected appearance and hygiene.
- Weight loss.
- Appetite changes.
- Relationship problems that include lying, lashing out on a spouse, and difficulty communicating.
- Neglecting some aspects of life like school, hobbies, work, professional and personal commitments.
- Continued drug or alcohol use even when their negative effects are clear.
- Withdrawal symptoms every time the person attempts to stop using alcohol or drugs. Such symptoms may include vomiting, nausea, sleep problems, mood swings, and irritability.

When you notice these symptoms, you might be tempted to seek help from the nearest couples' rehab https://addictionresource.com/drug-rehab/for-couples/. But before you do that, there are things you can do to help a drug addict or your alcoholic boyfriend.

Steps to Take to Assist a Drug Addict or Alcoholic Boyfriend

The second and most important step to take after confirming that your loved one or boyfriend has a drinking or substance abuse problem is to learn about it. Take time to learn as much as possible about drug addiction. Also, learn about the existing treatment options. This will enable you to know what you are up to and the best ways to support your loved one.

Don't forget that you can't force a drug addict or alcoholic boyfriend to beat their addiction. A 2018 study revealed that involuntary addiction treatment is associated with increased nonfatal drug overdoses risk. Nevertheless, you can do certain things to encourage a loved one to want to seek treatment and recover from addiction. But, the decision to seek sobriety is ultimately theirs to make.

Be honest with your loved one and yourself about their addiction. Talk to them about the effects of drug addiction or alcoholism on their life and you. Make sure that you talk about your experience only. That means referring to yourself and concerns that you have about their drinking or drug abuse behavior.

Be careful and calm when talking about the issue. Using the wrong language and tone can make a drug addict or your boyfriend feel attacked. Therefore, be supportive and compassionate. But, be firm about how you feel. Show genuine concern and love instead of placing blame or guilt on them.

Don't forget that you don't have to face your alcoholic boyfriend or loved one alone. You can stage a group intervention or get help from family or friends. This is especially important if the drug addict or alcoholic boyfriend doesn't respond well to your suggestions. Trained and experienced interventionists may help you through this process. They can be an important asset before you decide to seek help from rehab for couples.

Things to Avoid when Helping a Drug Addict or Alcoholic Boyfriend

When an addict knows your love and concern for their behavior, attempts to help can fuel their addiction. You naturally love the person and you want to ensure their safe recovery from addiction. But, you can easily be tempted to say yes to their request even when you don't like it. You can even lie to protect them or go out of your way to help them clean up the mess they create while drunk or high on drugs. Unfortunately, this won't help your loved one beat addiction.

To help a drug addict or alcoholic boyfriend, here are things you need to avoid:

  • Enabling his behavior. Enabling the addictive behavior means taking away the negative consequences, thereby making it easy for him to keep drinking or using drugs. Enabling the addictive behavior can include telling lies to cover up his addictive behavior, contributing to addiction financially, and taking over his responsibilities after he neglects them due to alcoholism or drug use.

  • Using negative emotions, blame, and guilt. This makes an addict less responsive and defensive.

  • Issuing ultimatums like threatening to leave your alcoholic boyfriend if he does not quit drinking. Ultimatums can add to the stress that your boyfriend is already facing. Instead of ultimatums, come up with healthy boundaries that you can stick to.

  • Talking about addiction when he is drunk or high on drugs. Don't bring up the issue of seeking rehab for coupes on drugs when your loved one is under the influence of the addictive substance. That's because your conversation at that time can't be rational. Your alcoholic boyfriend might not even recall what you talked about when sober. Therefore, wait until your loved one is sober to talk about addiction.

  • Joining him. You should not be influenced by the addiction of your boyfriend to start drinking or using drugs. Instead, maintain sobriety and be firm no matter what he does.

Seek Treatment

Once a drug addict or alcoholic boyfriend admits that he has a drinking or substance abuse problem and they are ready to get assistance, explore the available treatment options together. There are different treatment programs to consider.

Common treatment options include:

- Medical detox
- Outpatient treatment
- Pharmaceutical treatments
- Inpatient treatment
- 12-step meetings
- Group and individual counseling or therapy

The best couples' drug rehab starts every treatment program with a careful and thorough assessment by a mental or medical health professional. This is training to assess and treat addictions. It also provides an environment and amenities that enhance safe recovery from addiction.

The Bottom Line

Helping a drug addict or alcoholic boyfriend is not easy. You should be prepared to face challenges from the moment you confront him about his alcoholism or addiction. Nevertheless, knowing the steps to take, things to avoid, and seeking assistance from reputable drug rehab for married couples can help.  

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