Breaking up is one of the most hurtful things to experience and moving on from it, may be harder. Many people might suggest that you forget about it but a new study says that repeatedly reflecting on a break up can make moving on easier. This was proven through a study among individuals who had experienced a failed relationship.
The study entitled, "Participating in Research on Romantic Breakups Promotes Emotional Recovery via Changes in Self-Concept Clarity" were authored by Grace M. Larson and David A. Sbarra from the Department of Psychology in Northwestern University and University of Arizona. According to Larson, "Breakups are ubiquitous -- most adults have experienced at least one in their life -- and are typically very distressing." She reiterated on this after she studied divorce and breakups for years. The study was published in Social Psychological and Personality Science.
The researchers found out that people who consistently reflected on their break ups or failed relationships have gained emotional recovery than those people who did not think about it. It can be compared to the saying that facing your fears will make you stronger. Furthermore, the study found out that by reminding them of their loss and by making the concentrate on who they are without their partner can help in recovery. According to Larson, the best people to become support systems are friends who will listen. "Women tend to co-ruminate, so the friend who is super negative about your ex won't make you feel any better."
One predicament they encountered during the study was the methods might cause harm and pain to the participants. At first glance, it might seem like repeatedly reminding participants that they had just broken up -- and asking them to describe the breakup over and over -- might delay recovery," Larson explained. However, in the study, they were surprised that the effect was more positive.
The participants they chose are those who have just experienced a recent break up in the previous six months. They divided the group into two groups wherein the first group used methods of observing coping and emotions through the use of questionnaires and interview while the second group were asked to complete initial and final questionnaires.
The study recognizes that most people who experience breakups will not have the option of participating in a scientific study. They can regularly reflect on their emotions in order to help them move on. "The recovery of a clear and independent self-concept seems to be a big force driving the positive effects of this study, so I would encourage a person who recently experienced a breakup to consider who he or she is, apart from the relationship," Larson says. "If that person can reflect on the aspects of him- or herself that he or she may have neglected during the relationship but can now nurture once again, this might be particularly helpful."